Jesus reprimanded the disciples who criticized Mary when she anointed Him shortly before the crucifixion, because they said that this expensive ointment could have been sold and given to the poor. He said, “Ye have the poor with you always, but Me ye have not always” (Mark 14:3-7).
There is a principle in this. There are other things we “have not always.” I don’t want to avoid the main teaching of this verse which is our dedication to the Lord Jesus Christ. But I think it is helpful to encourage parents to apply this same principle to their children. Them we “have not always.” They grow up!
I need to point out that the important factor isn’t that we as parents no longer have the joy of these little ones running around our feet. That’s true, but not the main issue. The main concern is to teach, nurture, and invest during these young “run around our feet” years. Now is the time to invest, because “them we have not always.”
How should we invest in our children? I asked my wife this question and she rattled off this list faster than I could type.
- Incorporate them in everything you do and explain why and how you are doing it. In this way they learn how you think and why.
- Encourage them as often as you can. Be generous with your praise, letting them know how great they are doing. They need to know that you think they are the best kids in the world.
- As parents, talk highly about your kids to each other in their hearing. It’s important for them to know that their parents are pleased with them.
- Have a daily routine of being in God’s Word together as a family.
- Talk about God’s Word as part of your daily life. Share with them the things God is teaching you and how He has answered prayers.
- Be a good listener. Parents need to know what their kids are thinking and how they feel. Ask questions and listen. Explain but don’t lecture.
- Enjoy being with them. Consider them as your best friends and realize they need you as their best friend.
- Help them to develop their own convictions by explaining why your family makes specific decisions. Help them learn to discern between good and evil, and to see the consequences of sin or worldliness. This is one of the best ways to protect.
- Be willing to be humble and ask forgiveness when there is misunderstanding or friction, even if it is mostly the kid’s fault. It’s good when parents can absorb as much blame as possible. Parents must be the ones to show maturity.
- Remind them that the ultimate goal is to please God. Pray that they will be motivated, not by rules, but by a desire to please you and their Heavenly Father.
- If there is a problem between your child and someone else, take your child’s side as much as possible. You need to be their ally not their foe.
- Look for ways to expose them to godly influences through friendships, books, conferences, and hospitality.
- Let them see that your priority is to serve the Lord, and plan ministry things you can do together.
I’m sure each of you could add many more ideas to this list. Investing in our children takes time, intentionality, and much prayer. May the Lord give you wisdom and grace as you raise up the little ones in your care, making the most of each day because they grow up fast.
“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children” (Deut. 4:9).
This article was written in our newsletter. You can sign up for the monthly newsletters here