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Resources and Ideas
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brothers with footballYour goal should not be to simply “get along” with your brothers and sisters, but to become best friends! How can this be done? If you are struggling in your relationship, you may not feel like taking any steps to improve it. But it doesn’t matter what we feel, does it? What matters is doing what is right and pleasing the Lord who emphasized His desire that we love one another (John 15:12). So we’d like to share a few ideas with you of how to cultivate a closer relationship with your brothers and sisters.

Spent one-on-one time with a brother or sister by starting an ATTACH group.

In our family, we have found that ATTACH has been one of the tools that has strengthened our relationship with each other and with the Lord. We have passed the idea on to many others over the years who have reported to us how it has brought them much closer together. Even if you feel that your relationship is already good with your siblings, we think you’ll find it valuable to spend some extra time—away from the busy commotion around the house—to get to know each other better!

How ATTACH works:

ATTACH stands for Advancing Together Torward Accountability, Christ-likeness, and Harmony. We recommend that older siblings invite their younger siblings to join them for a special snack and one-one-one time. Since everyone’s personality is different, you may want to adjust the idea to fit your situation. But below is an example of how it can be done.

  1. Buy two spiral notebooks and transform them into ATTACH notebooks by pasting a new cover on the front and adding category tabs such as Bible Study, Accountability, Projects, and Prayer.
  2. Write a little note to your younger brother or sister inviting them to join you for a picnic, special outing, or simply a snack in your bedroom or back yard (somewhere where you won’t be interrupted). Explain what ATTACH stands for and that you want it be a time where you can grow closer with each other and with the Lord.
  3. At each “ATTACH meeting,” do whatever it takes to make it special. Go somewhere unique, buy their favorite food, do an activity they enjoy, etc. Then work through each of the tabs in your ATTACH notebook.
    Bible Study: Let your younger brother or sister choose a Bible passage that they’d like to study. Read it and comment on how you can apply it in your life.
    Accountability: Choose something that you’d like to be held accountable for (Such as rising early, honoring your parents, mediating on Scripture, keeping your room clean, etc.) Ask your younger brother or sister to remind you to do it. Then let your younger sibling pick one thing they’d like to be held accountable for.
    Prayer Requests: Ask your younger brother or sister to pray for you in a specific area of your life. (Maybe that you’d learn to be more humble, be more patient, share your faith more, etc.) Then ask if they have anything they’d like you to pray for.
    Projects: Choose a project that you’d like to work on together (such as helping a neighbor with their lawn, baby-sitting for a family from church, passing out tracts, writing a family newsletter, etc.)
  4. Make it your goal to have a regular time (once a month is a good goal) to meet for ATTACH.

Be creative. Take initiative. Persevere. If you are a firstborn, you may not realize how much your younger brothers and sisters look up to you and how much they will appreciate the one-on-one attention from you! If you are missing out on the friendship and fellowship of your brother and sister, you are missing out on one of the biggest blessings God wants to give you! If you don’t do ATTACH, find another way to cultivate an opportunity for many meaningful conversations which you wouldn't normally have in “everyday life.”

sistersInitiate Ministry Projects Together

Each member in your family is different with various personalities, gifts, and talents. When this is recognized and orchestrated properly, your family can be a dynamic team working together for the kingdom of God!

When people work together to accomplish something significant, they become close in the process. So pick a project and utilize the gifts and abilities God has given your family! As you learn and grow, you’ll be able to tackle bigger and bigger projects.

For starters, here are some ideas:
— Invite neighbor kids over for a Bible club
— Make cookies for neighbors
— Write a family newsletter and include a gospel message
— Plan a skit with a Christian message
— Pass out tracts on a busy street corner or at a holiday parade
— Provide music for a nursing home and visit with the residents

Teach others what you have learned

“The teacher always learns more than the student”. When you teach something, it causes you to really understand it—and apply it! Teach those around you what the Lord has taught you in regards to family relationships! If you are a young lady, we’d recommend starting a Bright Lights group where you can reinforce the lessons God has taught you in the lives of other young ladies. For more information about Bright Lights, see our Bright Lights page.


To see our book, coloring book, DVD, and CDs on brother / sister relationships, visit our online store.
To see the table of contents for Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends click here.